Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You left your phone here
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