i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
