There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize