does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
