she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
North Korea, Best Korea!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
