honey bunches of taint.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
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Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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