laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
