Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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