Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
