She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize