dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
