my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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