I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
