it hurts more in the daytime
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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