allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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