i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
