I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have post one night stand depression
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
