Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
