i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!