Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
