If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
