3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize