Duck Duck Cougar?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Dear god my vagina.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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