He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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