fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
