it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
