I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
