thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
