I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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