dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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