no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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