I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
