i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
