I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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