I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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