It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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