Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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