I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
