I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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