She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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