A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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