Christians are straight up FREAKS
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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