What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
