We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
