He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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