Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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