ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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