I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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