think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
