If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
