It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize