I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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