To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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