I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
