I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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