hell yes lets make some ravioli
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
