Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
