you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
