Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
