its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
